Hollywood

My House

Here's the story, of a little boy.

Growin' up in a suburban home,

Trying to cope with everyday life,

Who lives in a little house,

That was built, in the middle of the street...    Eminem   

Here is what I want ...turns out it cost $6.2 Million. And, according to Cecilia, that is not even in a "great neighborhood".






Here is what I can almost afford ... @ $300,000. 

I can also ALMOST afford this... for $200,000...but then I could not afford to buy the tent to sleep in, much less, the bulldozer to level the lot enough to even pitch the tent.




Cecilia knew all along I could not afford to buy anything in this town. Even if Cadavers from Cairo is a smash hit and I get the part in Phantom Guitar I cannot think of buying anything in this city. I will have to commute from Nevada! But it turns out the real estate diva had other plans. After she drove me around all afternoon just to prove I am not a potential customer, she took me back to her place...based on what I saw today she either bought it during the Great Depression or she pulled a Bonnie and Clyde at some bank. That place is cherry sweet. And for that matter, that diva is cherry sweet. I would say the picture she has on the billboards is a good ten years old...but she is still one fine piece of work.

Let me just say, we cooled off with a couple of martini's and then we heated things up a bit.

Starlight Home Sweet Home

Brody has an old flame named Cecilia. She is some sort of real estate hot shot with giant billboards all over LA.
I decided it is time for me to stop bunking on Brody's couch and having sleepovers with Lola. So I am going to" let Cecilia find my perfect home".  I have an appointment to see her tomorrow and I am pretty stoked about finding my own place...and judging from the pictures on her billboards, Cecilia should be most pleasant company. Wonder what she saw in an old guy like Brody. 


I am getting to really like this movie star thing that is happening. I just found out the the producers of our movie "Cadavers From Cairo" had originally planned to go straight to DVD with the movie. But there has been so much PR about me and my "flaw" that they are thinking about releasing it to the theaters instead. We are through shooting now and the film is in post-production. They are going to push it out as some sort of cult thing. It is a horror-comedy. Of course the target audience is teenagers. The producers sent some teen magazine photographer over to take pictures of me and Lola. They are going to start some publicity campaign about how we met on the set and "fell in love" ...you know how that one goes.  They plan to gear that up to high speed just before the movie is released. My agent, Gigi, says I am going to be the next big thing. Seems the girls are digging my tragic story and all want to "take care of me". How cool is that?

Pinks

Lola and I popped by Brody's to tell him the good news about our "adjustments".  We decided to celebrate at a place called Pinks. Brody told me it was a hot dog stand so I offered to buy. Some hot dog stand! Right out front there was a stretch limo....That is when I had second thoughts about picking up the tab. But once inside I felt a little better. The menu prices were within my meager budget. The walls are covered with photos of famous people who eat there.

While we were waiting for our food this rich looking guy in tennis clothes came over to our table. He said he recognized me!!!!!!! Can  you believe it? Turns out he is the screen writer on a movie that is in development. Our producers told me that Lola and I were being considered for the leads...but I figured they were smoking crack. Seems it is the honest truth. The writer, I think his name is Winston Moore talked like we already had the parts and even suggested Brody read for the butler's part.

All I can say is "HOT DOG".

The movie is some sort of modern day "Phantom of the Opera "  except the main character is a rock-n-roll singer that gets his face messed up in some accident and becomes a recluse.  Guess they figure if they cast me in that part they came save a fortune in makeup costs. Whatever it takes. Can you believe I have only been here a few weeks and am wrapping up my first movie and am up for the lead in another. Granted they a low budget indie films... but they are films and I get paid. Most people are out here for years and still do not get this lucky.

The Best Boy and a Whole Lot More

Filmmakers & Crew

ART DIRECTOR Oversees the craftsmen who build the sets.

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR: An assistant to the art director.

ASSISTANT CAMERA  Assists the camera operator. This person is responsible for the maintenance and care of the camera, as well as keeping camera reports and shot lists. In small productions, they may also perform the duties of clapper-loader and/or a focus puller.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR Tracks the progress of filming versus the production schedule, and prepares the call sheets.

ASSISTANT FILM EDITOR: Editing room crew member responsible for providing assistance to the editor.

ASSISTANT PRODUCTION MANAGER  An assistant to the production coordinator.

ASSOCIATE PRODUCER  Performs a limited number of producing functions delegated to him/her by a producer, under the direct supervision and control of that producer.   

BACKGROUND ARTIST (SCENIC ARTIST) Responsible for designing or constructing the art placed in the back of a set.

BEST BOY: Usually the Gaffer's Assistant and a member of the Electrical Dept.

BOOM OPERATOR: A member of the sound crew who operates the boom microphone.

CAMERA LOADER (LOADER, CLAPPER-LOADER) Operates the clapboard at the beginning of a shot, also responsible for loading film stock into film magazines.

CAMERA OPERATOR (CAMERAMAN) The person who operates the camera to the specifications dictated by the director of photography.  

CASTING DIRECTOR (CD, CASTING ASSISTANT, CASTING ASSOCIATE): The person who auditions and helps to select all of the speaking role actors in film, television shows or plays.

CATERER  Feeds cast and crew. Sometimes the caterer works from a truck or van that has become known as the "Roach Coach."

CHOREOGRAPHER Plans and directs dance sequences within a movie.  

CINEMATOGRAPHER Responsible for creating the overall look of the film. This includes setting up the shots by establishing the placement of both camera and lights. The chief cinematographer for a movie is called the director of photography.

COMPOSER A musician whose music appears in a movie's score.  

COSTUME DESIGNER  In charge of costumes, usually preparing them for use and making sure they are accurate and faithful to the designs.

DIRECTOR The person who interprets the written book or script. This individual oversees all creative aspects of the production. Also the person who yells "Action!"

EDITOR  Performs editing (in consultation with the director) on a movie. This term usually refers to someone who does visual editing.

ELECTRICIANS Members of the Electrical Dept. who wire electrical devices used on and off set as well as rig and adjust lighting.

EXECUTIVE PRODUCER (EXECUTIVE IN CHARGE OF PRODUCTION)  Not involved in any technical aspects of the filmmaking process, but who is still responsible for the overall production. Typically an executive producer handles business and legal issues.

FOCUS PULLER Adjusts the focus of the camera during filming.

GAFFER  Head of the Electrical Dept., The Gaffer, works closely with the DP in determining how lights should be used and where they need to be placed.

GRIP  Crew members who arrange props and set up the various camera equipment including dollies, cranes, and the like.

KEY GRIP The chief of a group of grips, often doubling for a construction coordinator and a backup for the camera crew.  

LINE PRODUCER  Responsible for managing every person and issue during the making of a film.  

LOCATION MANAGER Manages various aspects of filming on location, such as arranging with authorities for permission to shoot in specific places.  

LOCATION SCOUT  Looks for suitable locations for filming.

PRODUCER The administrative head of the film, usually responsible for budget, staff, legal contracts, distribution, scheduling, etc.

PRODUCTION ASSISTANT (PA)  Responsible for various odd jobs on set and around the production office. Usually it is the PAs who run errands sometimes involving purchasing lunches or snacks for craft service, picking up disposables - small items used around the set or location. Often called the "Gofer."

PRODUCTION MANAGER   Makes things run on schedule and within the budget. 

PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR  An assistant to the producer, in charge of routine administrative duties.

SECOND ASSISTANT DIRECTOR Assistant to the Assistant Director. Usual duties include overseeing movements of the cast.

SECOND SECOND ASSISTANT DIRECTOR (2ND, 2ND): Assistant to the 2nd Assistant Director. These crew members are usually assigned the duty of organizing and directing the extras.

CAMERA LEFT - HOT SET

Man, there is a lot to learn about making movies. They use a whole different language. I don't want to let on that I do not know what they are talking about half the time. Thank God for Lola. She has been around the business long enough to have learned the lingo...BLOCKING - CAMERA RIGHT - CAMERA LEFT - HOT SET - OUT TIME - DOLLY - CHECKING THE GATE...on and on.

So the first day the director yells at me "Camera Left" ...so I move left, He scream "You idiot, I said Camera Left". Turns out that actors and extras facing the camera need interpret the directions as opposite. So if you are facing the camera and are asked to move a few steps camera right you will actually move to your left. You are expected to know all this stuff. They have no patience for teaching a newbie. If you are not lucky enough to have someone take pity on you, you could easily be kicked off the set. Time is money! Lucky for me I have Lola. 

On the first day she invited me to her place for a quick lesson and a quickie. Both were immensely gratifying. I convinced her that I might need a few more lessons before I was comfortable on the set and she agreed to accommodate my needs... you know what I mean.

ADJUSTMENT is a term I learned today...an adjustment is when your pay is increased above your base pay rate. That is what happen to me and Lola today. That is one term I could learn to love.

A Day at the Office

It is pretty amazing how many people it takes to make a movie. I am not even sure what half of the people are doing. There is one guy that does nothing but operate the clapperboard at the beginning of each take and put film in the camera. At least that is all I have seen him do. 
 
Things are going really well with the beautiful Lola. It is amazing how we hit it off. I guess you have noticed I seem a little different.I have more of a hop in my step and a smile on my face. I'm in LOVE. For the first time since Frances dumped me, I feel like there is hope for a normal relationship. Lola is everything I've ever been looking for.

It’s thrilling, nerve-wracking and emotional all at once because I can’t think of a time I’ve felt like this before, and I must admit I’m a little scared to open myself up like this. We’ve only been together for a short while, but I can just tell this is going to be a pretty serious thing. She does not even seem to notice my face. Maybe it is because we are both on the set in make-up all day. When everyone else takes their makeup off, and I am stuck in my Zombie face forever, it does not seem to matter to her. When I'm away from her. all I am thinking about is how I can't wait to see her again. I can't believe how much my life has changed in just a few days. I see everything in a different light now. Being in this movie and being with Lola... I realize how lucky I really am.

Things are going really well with the movie too. They have given both Lola and me larger parts than originally intended. I think it has something to do with the star being such an ass. I do not think the director likes working with him, he is a prima donna for sure.

Make-up Artist At Work

A Star is Born!

Wow; what a day! I'm kinda nervous about the whole thing...but if today is any indication of what this is going to be...I am ready for the ride.I had to be on set at 5:30 am. Not a problem since I was too excited to sleep at all last night. “Twentieth Century Fox” Can you believe it? I even have my own dressing room/trailer with a bathroom!. OK, I know it is weird to be excited about a bathroom, but really, how cool is that? They did a fine job of feeding us as well. I took these pictures with my phone. I hope no one saw me because that would be really uncool! I don't want everyone to see how excited I am about this whole thing.
I met the star of the movie. He  is this guy no one gets along with. I might have felt sorry for him if he wasn't such a  condescending sexist asshole.

I also met one of the hottest girls I have ever seen. She has the most exquisite green eyes, wild red hair and wonderfully long legs. Her name is Lola. Lovely Lola

Helter Skelter

When I get to the bottom 

I go back to the top of the slide 
Where I stop and turn and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again 

What a rollercoaster ride this  has been! The way my mood has been today I could be suffering from  MANIC DEPRESSION.

After we left the restaurant Brody took me to see a mechanic friend of his. He insisted on fronting the money for me to get this sweet little Honda Accord. Brody said he was doing it so he would not have to tote me all over town, but I suspect he did it to try to boost my spirits after I lost my cool with the asshole at Carl Jr. Regardless of what his motives were, it did boost my spirits. We sat around drinking beer and shooting the bull and I just did not give a shit about that guy anymore. Besides I am certain he will think of me often while that arm heals.

So, as if the new ride was not enough...we get back to Brody's place and....a message from Gigi...I HAVE A PART in a MOVIE! One day in LA and I HAVE A PART. Okay...I am just playing a Zombie in some dumb cheapo movie. But I get to grunt on screen and get to be the Zombie leader or something. Whatever, I get to work for a few weeks. I guess I am now officially Jack Fallon.

Brody and I have been celebrating with cheap vodka. We finished off the whole bottle, so he has gone out to get another. What a life...cars, movies, booze.
Hollywood's version of Wine, Women and Song.