Random Thoughts

I spent the day out at the farm where I work for this old guy, Gerald and his wife. They have this great old mare named Mabel. Sometimes when I ride her I can forget about all the bad stuff that has happened to me. I just let her have her head and go with the wind. She never judges me and she never looks away from my face with a wince. To her I am still the same kid that started riding her when I was 13. Sometimes we stop out in the field and I just lay in the grass and feel the breeze across my face. The breeze feels the same as it did before my face was burned. Out there, away from people gawking at me and feeling sorry for me or being repulsed by me, out there I am still  Fallon. The Fallon that is inside me, not the Fallon people see. Sometimes I wish I could find a cabin in the hills and just become some old recluse. Gerald tells me I shouldn't put so much stock in my looks. The truth is my looks always got me special favors. I knew I could get away with murder because my teachers thought I was so cute. My Mom always called me her "beautiful boy". Now I am no ones beautiful anything.